Imagine Sid Vicious at 35: Why I Grew To Hate The Punk Rock Scene

by Alfonso Colasuonno

Alright, first off, for the snarky amongst you, I’m old, but I’m not that old. I’m actually only 34, thank you very much.

See, that line, “Imagine Sid Vicious at 35” is from a Dead Kennedys song. You know them, the 80s punk band who did Nazi Punks Fuck Off and that song about how Governor Jerry Brown is a dippy space cadet. Which he is. Sorry not sorry, California.

The song that line is from is called Chickenshit Conformist.

That song is all about how much the punk rock scene sucks.

And it does.

Believe me, I know. I was in it.

Why, you may ask, does the punk rock scene suck?

Wait, you didn’t ask that. Come on, ask.

I’m waiting.

Okay, fuck you. I’ll tell you anyway.

And there’s my first reason. The punk rock scene’s negative attitude.

Look, there are many many many things that are wrong about society, both politically and in the general mores of everyday individuals, and it’s fine to want to take them down.

But what the hell do you propose in its place?

Nothing.

Punk rock is inherently about destruction, not about construction.

And so the punk rock scene is filled with people who have nasty things to say about everything, but are too cynical to do anything to change the world.

But if you thought those punks were shitty, the ones who actually buck this trend and want to take action are even worse.

Jello Biafra sung in Chickenshit Conformist, “Agree with us on everything or we won’t help with anything.”

Yep. That’s the punk rock scene’s politics in a nutshell.

Regardless of where you are on the punk rock political spectrum (you can be either anarchist, anarcho-communist, or for the conservatives in the scene – socialist) you must maintain absolute orthodoxy or you’re ostracized.

Because punk rock is all about rules.

And stupid fucking hairstyles.

The punk rock scene is not about any meaningful change because meaningful change comes from dialogue. It comes from diversity. It comes from openness.

All things which the punk rock scene purports to support, but doesn’t in actuality.

Want another reason why the punk rock scene is a fucking drag?

No future.

There are probably no two words that better sum up punk rock than those two.

It’s the most defeatist attitude you could ever have. No future for you. No future for me. Everything is pointless so let’s just talk about a revolution that will never come while smashing bottles against a wall while we’re in our thirties.

No future for them. Hey, that’s pretty accurate.

We all get one go-around. Life is way too short not to do something with it. We all have different dreams and talents. It’s our job on this planet to put them into play and see what happens, but the punk rock scene hates achievement of any kind.

Because there’s no future for us.

My teen years, and even into much of my twenties, were spent in this ridiculous scene.

If I could do it again, I wouldn’t.

Like Jello sang, “Punk’s not dead, it just deserves to die.”

The punk rock scene sucks.

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