The Upsell Artist, By Frank Mundo

I read somewhere once that, on average, a man thinks
about sex every seven seconds. That means,
in the sixty seconds it took me to pay her,
I thought about it at least eight times.

Once was the white blob of mayonnaise
on her green polo shirt, just beneath her name tag.
Another was the plastic gloves she slipped off,
breaking me down before ringing me up?

Would I like to make it a combo, she asked next — Sex?
And I said, Yes, thinking, No, I wouldn’t. But Yes!
She suggested I might like a large drink — Sex!
And again I said, Yes, thinking, No, not really. But Yes!

And she clearly knew I had more yesses left
As she smiled, and she laughed, and she took a deep breath,
which produced the slightest rise in her chest — Sex!
Because all I remember after that is Yes:

Would I like a hot bowl of broccoli soup? Yes!
Would I like three cookies for only $1.50 more? Yes!
Would I like to donate a dollar to charity? Yes!
Thinking, No, I would not. Knowing, No, I should not.
But, Yes, sex, yes, sex…

Frank Mundo is the author of The Brubury Tales (foreword by Carolyn See) a modern version of The Canterbury Tales set in Los Angeles just after the ’92 riots. Frank’s poetry, nominated for Best of the Net 2016, has recently appeared in poetic diversity, Autumn Sky Poetry, Angel City Review, 3Elements Review and The Lowestoft Chronicle.

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